| |
Open Donation: An Intriguing Option (page 2)
These tactics discouraging open donation unfortunately feed the familiar shame so many infertile couples experience and, that is, not having a baby in the traditional wayÉ.the way most people do it. The powerful yet subtle implication of these messages is that having a child through donation is not really okay and by participating in something that is not okay you is inadvertently doing something wrong or at least questionable.
Asking a third party to help you have a child was certainly not part of anyone's original game plan. Granted to step outside of what we know and have a child in this way raises questions and concerns, and is understandably uncomfortable. Nevertheless, if egg donation is a viable medical alternative for building one's family and makes reproductive sense regarding one's particular fertility problem, then there is the obligation to do it responsibility, with integrity and with one's eyes wide open.
To protect and shield oneself from discomfort by participating in an anonymous donation arrangement may not be in one's best interestÉ.. not for the parents and not for the child. The merits of open donation are potentially profound and worth serious consideration for those pursuing this reproductive option. Open donation is an honest approach in confronting one's infertility and reproductive reality. It forces one to face their disappointment of not having a genetic child and embrace the prospect of working with another woman who is graciously willing to gift her eggs. It is a mutually agreed upon arrangement with women helping women in a profound way.
Non-anonymous donation programs, where donors and recipients meet and exchange information to whatever extent has been mutually decided, is becoming a more acceptable and available avenue for many. The consensus within the mental health community by and large is that individuals have an inherent right to know about their genetic orgins. More and more parent participating in donation arrangements plan to tell their children their birth story. Yet, despite this growing trend donation programs continue their policy of anonymity, which confounds the question, as to what information parents will have to share with their child.
Most programs supply recipients with descriptive profiles of their donor giving medical and sociological histories. Some programs even provide photos of these donors. Reading such profiles or scrutinizing a photo can certainly provide some information but can in no way provide what face to face contact offers.
A child can derive a sense of security in knowing that his/her parents met the donor. It reassures a child that his/er parents, the people he/she trusts the most, have actively made a reproductive choice and are comfortable with their decision and are not in any way denying the family's genetic truth. It also provides an opportunity for parent to tell a child a much more personal and intimate story, which can only serve to strengthen the emotional bond between parent and child.
|
