|
 |
| |
|
| |
Early or Formative Years
It behooves parents to practice, practice, practice. There is no one right way to tell one's child his/her adoption story. Each parent will all have to find a way that works for them. Talking to a newborn allows parents the opportunity to achieve some familiarity with the language, inadequate as it may be, so that one does not choke every time the word adoption is spoken. It gives parents a head start so when their child is old enough to truly understand what is said, parents will "sort of" have it down.
It is suggested to parents that they disclose early, disclose gently, and disclose with love. As the story unfolds the body of information grows and grows with the ultimate goal of giving the child all the in formation they need to become who they are suppose to be.
One has to remember that to have a child through adoption is not better or worse but just different. However, children don't like being different. They want to be like everyone else. Do not misinterpret a comment such as I don't want to be 'dopted'. This is not a rejection of the parent or the child's adoption but a quest for sameness. In the next breath they might want a red bike like Marcy or a candy bar. Please listen to your child and be careful not to mishear.
During these early years you want your child to think of you as safe. Safe to ask, safe to feel and safe to be. These children are looking at their parents and picking up on the subtleties of their body language. One's ease of discussion will lay the foundation and provide he/she with the appropriate internal resources to tackle what lies ahead. Some preschoolers are more curious others are less so. Tell the truth but do it in the context of love.
|
|
